While I was taking a shower, my phone rang three times:

1) Dad

2) Ex husband

3) Uncle Steve in New York

The last one was the first message I heard on September 11, 2001. Uncle Steve, unable to reach anyone locally decided to call me and let me know that he was OK, but that he'd appreciate it if I got the message out to everyone else in the family. What followed was a very long day for many Americans ending in some mourning lost family members.

At the time, I was in charge of training executives from Europe who ended up stranded in the states, was an ESL teacher for interns from Germany, and had family in both DC and New York. Many frantic calls were made that day to find housing for those stuck in the states, make sure everyone was OK in the family, and to cope with the feelings of anger that arise from terror attacks.

And it was quiet. SOOOO quiet. You don't realize how much sound comes to a city from the air until the planes are gone.

Kirk said at the next Sauce practice, "They awoke the hidden dragon."

I never could come up with words to communicate all the emotions of this time, but I did write a song - my only instrumental. I hope you enjoy it. 

A recording of Sauce - the best drama rock band from Portland, Oregon! Music and words my Nicole Sauce. Performed by Sauce the band.

I wrote it about our last days together with my grandfather after we found out he was terminally ill. It was a beautiful time where we were visited by family from all over, where Grandma told stories about the past we had never heard before, and when my grandfather taught me one last lesson: death is natural and beautiful, not scary. And he loved my grandma so much that the last word we heard from him was her name.

Grandpa's Song by Nicole Sauce Williams
(Copyright 2004)

Light Love Life Hope

Light in darkness -love eternal
Life you showed us - hope - it's hopeless

Look into your eyes, now there's nothing left to say
Feeling of your hand holding on to mine today

Inside Out Bound

In the final hours together
Longed to show you - you remember

Fire in your eyes looked across the room to her
Feeling in the air taking you forever

Showed us how to right through small deeds
Speak with silence, love in all things

Look into your eyes, now there's nothing left to say
Feeling of you hand holding on for one last day